As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
