She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
