it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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