so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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