she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize