he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
