Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
