White coat. Heels.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
