As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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