i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
