Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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