discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
