I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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