just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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