His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
