lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize