Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
