my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
