I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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