69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
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