You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Someone came in the potted fern
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
