how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
