she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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