no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
