Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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