You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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