I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
