The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
