Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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