You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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