we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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