I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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