if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
