called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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