we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
