guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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