I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wish you could order shots online.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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