my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
