awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize