You're so nebulous sometimes
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
