Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
