I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
