:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
