My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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