peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
its liver damage thursday
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
