I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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