No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
