I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
