yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
