There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
