She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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