Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
