i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
