I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
