benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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