I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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