So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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