You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
