I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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