I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
