What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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