i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize