i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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