Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well I just put wine in my tea
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
