I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
