nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
